Update: Festivus proceedings will be broadcast live on Ustream at the LadyForward channel.
If you’re like me, readers, you’ve been thinking,
“If only the neverending war on Festivus would stop! What a beautiful world this would be!”
Thank goodness the people of Wisconsin can enjoy a ceasefire on Monday December 23rd at noon in Wisconsin’s Capitol Building.
Below is a press release hot off the presses of Greg “Commissioner” Gordon and the W.T.F. Team.
Speaking of hot stuff, W.T.F. also requests some assistance with a very special gift for Scott Walker. More on that is HERE.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!
Contact: Greg “Commissioner” Gordon by reverse-engineering the bat signal or by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org
What: Festivus for the Rest of Us!
Where: Wisconsin Capitol Building, First Floor, near the Festivus Pole
When: December 23rd, 12 Noon, Central Time
12:00 PM – Brief explanation of the origin of Festivus
12:05 PM – Presentation of a gift to Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (Invited. Attendance still not confirmed)
12:10 PM- Airing of grievances
12:40 PM – Singing of Festivus carols followed by traditional Wisconsin Capitol Building protest songs.
1:00 PM – Adjourn.
The public is invited to attend a rousing Festivus for the Rest of Us celebration presented in cooperation with members of the Wisconsin Transparency Force (WTF) . Attendees will gather at noon near the Festivus Pole display in the Capitol rotunda. A permit for the pole was secured by a private citizen. His display has been in the rotunda since December 1st and will remain there for the entire month of December.
W.T.F. will display a gift for Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker at the beginning of the event.
Following, all who want to formally vent their complaints in the traditional “Airing of Grievances” will be asked to submit their names on slips of paper to be randomly drawn from a hat at the event. Unless there is a Festivus miracle, there probably will not be time for each attendee to complain. Some of the grievances submitted in writing over the past few weeks and dropped into the Festivus pole will also be read aloud.
Following the airing of grievances, attendees will sing a few Festivus carols and traditional holiday protest songs from Wisconsin.
Image credit: Peter Patau. Image appears with permission of photographer.
People around the globe have been celebrating Festivus since the broadcast of a Seinfeld episode established it as an alternative to more familiar, over-commercialized winter holidays. Festivus observers display an unadorned aluminum pole, they air grievances around a table, and they engage in feats of strength such as wrestling.
Due to the fact that the Department of Administration insisted that liability insurance would be required if this event included feats of strength, a previously planned “Lobbyist Deadlift”, where special interest lobbyists lift heavy satchels of cold hard cash and extend their arms outward toward the legislative chambers or governor’s office, has been cancelled.
Pictured Above: A Holiday Wars skirmish. Photo by Bud at Bud’s Rubber Room
Creative Commons License for the image “13 Days of Festivus: Day 4” by Bud
Changes made to this image: I hyped up the contrast, used an effect found in Aviary called “Clyde”, and I also added a “stamp” frame in Aviary.